Big Shiny Robots New Feature: Dear Sextelligence

We have a new feature here at BSR! that is fully interactive. You ask Sextelligence a question and she answers. Any question about whatever you want. Not sure how to let that girl in the Scott Pilgrim shirt know that you’re into comics but aren’t a creepy hentai collecting freak? She’s got you covered. So read her FAQ below and ask away over at our Facebook and Twitter

Sextelligence: I totally know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking there’s only one reason to make a chick robot. To have sex with. Well, screw you, robot chick stereotyping sexist pig. Chick robots have feelings too. It just so happens that while my lady robot parts are about average, my advice parts are world-renowned* and award-winning.** So, on top of getting all your geek street cred here, you can now find out what to do if you ever find a girl willing to have sex with you. Or maybe get my best robot friend’s prized lasagna recipe, which I got her drunk to steal. We’ll see what haps.

To get this party started, here are some Frequently Asked Questions.***

Are you a real person?
Not at all. By the time I’m 50, I hope to be at least 70 percent plastic and 100 percent pickled in vodka.

What kinds of questions should we ask you?
If you’re wondering where to hide a corpse, I totally can’t help you. Mainly because I am awful at giving driving directions but also because that would be illegal. This is actually a good time to say that nothing I recommend should ever be done by anyone. Unless we’re talking about the aforementioned lasagna recipe or how to keep your girlfriend from shredding your copy of Red Dead Redemption. Actually, if you need that disclaimer, go ahead and stop reading now and turn on some Golden Girls reruns. Good day.

What do chick robots eat?
Apart from the occasional sausage, corn-on-the-cob, cucumber, and hot dogs, just vodka. Also, little known fact: unlike humans, chick robots do not suffer from robot penis envy. No, seriously.

So that’s that. Ask me anything. I’m all yours for at least five minutes a week or so-ish.

*A drunk guy in Spain told me I look like Britney Spears. Back when she was hot.
**I won the”Most Likely to Get Shanked in Prison” award, Robot Mountain High School Year Book, Class of 2000
**Also known as “Never Actually Spoken but Things You Would Have Asked if You Had Known I Existed Questions”