This review will contain spoilers, anything going beyond the scope of the episode will be done in white text and will be preceded by *Spoiler*, episode spoilers will not be prefaced.
Last week was pretty fucked up. While Jon was getting laid and finally knowing something Ygritte didn’t Theon was losing his dick. Sansa was preparing to get hitched to the least awful Lannister while Arya was being kidnapped by Sandor Clegane. Hodor was gettin real sick of Osha and Jamie and Brienne were fighting a bear. The only character who isn’t going through hell right now is the Khaleesi, which I’m just going to assume will change real soon.
The Good
- I really like Sandor telling Arya he isn’t as awful as she believes he is. “Fuck Joffrey, Fuck the Queen.”
- Second Sons are arrogant as all hell. I love it. Along with Daenerys having such a bored almost amused look on her face.
- Stannis the Mannis doesn’t waste time on bullshit but it sounds like Gendry is in for some pain/slaughter.
- Davos is lowborn and is being taught to read by Shireen Baratheon but damned if the guy isn’t one of the smartest and most moral men on the show.
- Tyrion being as awkward as a teenager picking up his prom date is hilarious. Also holy shit they’re getting married today!
- Cersei’s look of “What the fuck is this thing touching me for?” She is really dialing that character in. Also always love a mention of Rains of Castamere.
- Joffrey is such an enormous douchecanoe it’s funny. Also good lord that was the worlds most awkward wedding. Lord Twyin is not amused. Laughing at him seems like the least intelligent thing to do.
- Wow that makes 2 episodes of someone ending up with some real mean blue balls. At least Gendry will be able to relieve his at some point. Maybe.
- Olenna throwing down on the shit show that is weddings of blue bloods. Gods that woman is hilarious. Mixing that with a hammered Tyrion is highly entertaining.
- “I am the god of tits and wine!” Nice callback writers!!
- “Then you’ll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock!” Wow, solid threat on the King. Necessary and awesome.
- Lots of butts this season. It’s gotten to a point where you could easily make it a drinking game.
- Faces in the weirwoods are super awesome and creepy. Mix in crows and it just gets more creepy.
- I love me some Samwell Tarly. *Spoiler* Where is Sam the Slayer!?
- OH SHIT!! Sam killed himself an Other with his dragonglass!! *Spoiler* THERE HE IS!!!!
- Arya really didn’t think through her attempt to kill the Hound much. Sure she had a big rock but she’s so little. Gotta give her credit though for trying so soon.
- Finally some more Davos! I list this only in the bad section because I want more. You can tell Stannis wants to let him out and misses his right hand man.
- Do not like Cersei playing her hand against the soon to be Queen so blatantly. Doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense.
- Hey Gendry, I’m going to be nice to you and show you everything that could have been and then probably torture you so that I can do some magic. Bad luck having that Baratheon blood Gendry.
- No thanks to Rapey Joffrey, I hate him enough as is.
- As funny as Tyrion is that bedroom scene was just painful. Sansa pouring herself a cup of wine is heartbreaking. It’s a testament to the show that you feel bad for both parties involved.
We spent a whole lot of time in King’s Landing this episode to watch Tyrion and Sansa be wed. It was painful and amazing. Dinklage always shines but this episode he really stuck out. Playing drunk can come off really badly but he did a great job and I’m sure the already fan favorite is becoming more so by being the least detestable Lannister. The Second Sons were an interesting addition to the show, Dany keeps growing stronger and now she’s got a man lusting after her who isn’t Jorah. Sam came back for this episode and found a way to destroy the Others but who knows if he will remember it. Daario and Sam the Slayer made things very interesting and seeing that next week is the standard climax episode means that shit is getting crazy next week!