“Scream Queens” season one, episodes 1.1 and 1.2; starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Lea Michelle, Emma Roberts, Abigail Breslin, and Skylar Samuels; Written and directed by Ryan Murphy.
At the risk of revealing too much too early in the review, Jesus Henry Christ I am glad this is only a 15 episode season.
Ryan Murphy’s latest series received a wholly unremarkable two hour premiere, which I bet I can summarize in less than fifty words: Pretty girls are racist and homophobic and get murdered, Jamie Lee Curtis does a subtle Sue Sylvester, and one chick wears earmuffs, then doesn’t, then does again. Whoa, check my shit out. I did it in 27.
If any of you have followed my opinions here at BSR, you know my thoughts on the Ryan Murphy ouevre. Those thoughts are not terribly varied. But I truly had high hopes for this series because I think his stuff works so much better when he gives a wink, rather than tries to be edgy and controversial with a straight face. And this looked so kitschy and dumb that I totally expected larfs in the vein of early Peter Jackson. I even put it in writing! But alas…
The show focuses on the horrible women of Kappa Kappa Tau, and their slightly less horrible pledges. Twenty years ago, a sister gave birth in a bathtub at a kegger and then got murdered. In present day, the sorority is ruled by Chanel and her minions and they are constantly harassed by the stodgy, closet pot smoker Dean Munsch (don’t worry, plenty of lesbian jokes were made at the expense of that name). Chanel plans a faux-murder in order to drive away all the unwanted pledges, surprising no one it goes wrong, and then it’s just a kill-pretty-people free for all. Grace, the least geeky white chick of the pledges, hates Chanel but decides to stick around the KKT house and go all Nancy Drew.
Let’s just do this one bullet style. I’ve got 14 more weeks of this horseshit so I better pace myself.
Stuff that actually made me smile or chuckle:
- Gigi’s Forenza skirt. I totally had one of those.
- “Hitting golf balls at hippies” actually made me snort.
- “Chad Radwell” is unquestionably the greatest name in prime time television.
- Niecey Nash’s monologue explaining her security protocols, while wholly unnecessary and seemed like filler, was completely brilliant.
- Upon being called a terrible human, Chanel replied “I’m rich and I’m pretty so it doesn’t really matter.” No, it wasn’t subtle, but it was a pretty scathing commentary that I appreciated.
- “Pissy Spacek.” I chortled. I’m not proud.
The worst things ever:
- Jamie Lee Curtis plays that stereotypical old school feminist who slut shames younger women, has sex with dudes for blackmail, and comes across like a desperate, over-sexed harpy. Boooooooring.
- I am not of the opinion that all racist/homophobic/awful jokes are off the table. Used sparingly, they can educate a viewer on the type of person a character is. But a constant barrage of said jokes is lazy, not funny, pointless, and also boring. I had planned on listing some examples, but I’m not going to give that type of shitty humor any more attention than it deserves.
- That scene between Ariana Grande and the Devil? I’m being pointedly vague as to avoid spoilers in case after reading this review you still want to invest two hours of your life in this show. Anyway. That scene? Where they were texting each other? That was literally the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Literally. Was that supposed to be a “Scream” homage? Do I even care?
And speaking of the interpretation of the homage, we arrive at –
The Direct Rip Offs:
- When the former Kappa Kappa Tau queen meets her end, she grabs a shower curtain in a direct mimic of the single most famous shower scene of all time.
- There’s clearly a serious “Heathers” vibe running through the show, but when the pledges were buried to the neck in a hazing rite, it was staged in a reproduction of Veronica’s croquet dream from “Heathers.”
- In the same scene, the score actually utilized “Psycho” violins. Admittedly, that’s a hard tune to rearrange which is probably why YOU JUST SHOULDN’T TRY.
- One of the undesirable pledges was a candle vlogger, and her video clip was a direct appropriation of this kid, who I think probably could get a lot of cash out of this whole thing.
The show was so quippy and precious that I was bored before the end of the first hour. But I forgot to mention that the soundtrack was really cool – A+ use of retro tunes. But Auntie Kat’s Quick Capsule Review goes as follows: I cannot believe I missed “The Muppets” for this.