YOU’RE KILLING ME (2 out of 10) Directed by Jim Hansen; Written by Jim Hansen and Jeffery Self; Starring Jeffery Self, Matthew McKelligon, Bryan Safi, Ed Patterson and Drew Droege; Not Rated; 88 minutes; On DVD March 8, 2016.
Gay men love their horror movies. Whether it’s the campiness, bad dialogue, the joy of watching a kick-ass “final girl” lay waste to the killer or just some good old fashioned blood and gore, something about them clicks with us. So it’s no surprise that gay horror films and TV series have developed a cult following. From “Hellbent” to “Dante’s Cove” and “The Lair”, each have been ridiculous in their own right but have made their mark on gay entertainment. “You’re Killing Me” desperately wants to be as good as some of these camp classics, but its “American Psycho” meets “Dexter” shtick never really pans out, and the whole thing is brought down by narcissistic characters you just can’t care about.
George (Jeffery Self) is a self-absorbed YouTuber who meets and ends up dating the reserved and somewhat mysterious Joe (Matthew McKelligon). Unfortunately, Joe has been in therapy for a long time in an attempt by his parents to control his more violent side and keep him content with his current hobby of just working his taxidermy skills on small animals. Something about George draws him out of his shell, and he is soon merrily dispatching various people from their group of friends. Always the honest boyfriend, he informs George of what he’s been up to, but George is much too preoccupied and obsessed with himself and his YouTube videos to take Joe seriously. He finally comes face to face with the monster Joe has become and must fight for his life … or stay with him because, you know, Joe is really hot.
The biggest issue here is that everyone, except for Joe, is so painfully oblivious to the world, their friends and anything else that happens outside their precious little bubbles that they go beyond caricature and just become obnoxious. It’s obvious that the movie is trying to make a point about how dangerous this can be and that there is more to life than who is dating who and what your favorite celebrity is up to, but there is a better way to go about it than making the audience hate all the characters. There is no one to root for, and that is necessary in a horror film. Even in a detestable one like “Hostel”, we at least want to see the college kids escape even if they were annoying stereotypes at first.
Even the killer wasn’t interesting enough to care about, and all of that falls solely on the fault of a shoddy script. The actors did their best with what was given to them, but the dialogue simply falls flat. It thinks it’s clever and giving a knowing wink to the audience, but it couldn’t be more annoying or grating and would find a better home with a bunch of tweens than adults. There weren’t even any proper twists and turns to enjoy. Hell, at the end of the movie, George tricks Joe into stealing a car and waiting for him at a gas station so the two of them can meet up and run off together. We know George is just going to call the cops on Joe, and that’s actually what happens. How much more fun would it have been had Joe twisted George to his way of thinking and they actually did go off and kill people together and make “fake” YouTube videos out of it?
The only really redeeming thing I can say about this movie is that it had decent practical effects and that Matthew McKelligon did a fine job as Joe. That’s about it.
I had really high hopes for this since I had heard some good word of mouth, so I eagerly sat down with it to watch with my husband who is even a bigger horror fan than I am. Halfway through, we both looked at each other and wondered aloud, together “WTF is this?” Even letting the movie sit with me for a few days and think it over, I still really can’t answer that question.