Recently, David Lynch and Mark Frost released the entire roster of actors that will be participating in their continuation of “Twin Peaks,” one of the most baffling, depraved and wonderful television shows to come out of the 90’s. Boasting over 200 names, many of whom played characters in the original series, it’s anybody’s guess as to who these actors and actresses will be playing when the show returns to Showtime next year.
Since I’m having trouble sleeping, it’s the perfect time to develop some caffeine-induced theories as to who or what a few of these actors and actresses will be playing come 2017.
Monica Bellucci: Most recently, Bellucci was opposite Daniel Craig in “Spectre,” and she’s known for playing characters whose beauty masks a certain damaged melancholy. I see her character as one of Blackie’s protégés at One-Eyed Jack’s. Bellucci’s character saw Blackie as a mentor and friend, and she always harbored a deep resentment towards Ben Horne for Blackie’s heroin addiction. After Blackie was killed, Bellucci’s character took her deep knowledge of the casino/human trafficking business and created her own establishment that has slowly bled One-Eyed Jack’s dry over the years.
Michael Cera: Here’s hoping that Lynch and Frost will give Cera (“Arrested Development,” Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”) a chance to break his consistent typecasting as “charmingly awkward young person.” My theory is that Cera will play a character who spent his childhood obsessing over the Laura Palmer murder. Initially, this will be seen as extremely creepy, but as the show progresses, Cera’s character will end up being an unexpectedly valuable resource in the ongoing case to discover the whereabouts of Dale Cooper—kinda like the Log Lady.
Laura Dern: Dern has collaborated with Lynch since the “Blue Velvet” days, so I see her occupying the important, currently underexplored character of Cooper’s mother. According to Scott Frost’s book “The Autobiography of F.B.I. Agent Dale Cooper: My Life, My Tapes,” Coop’s mom had an otherworldliness to her and we learned that she had visions and dreams like Sarah Palmer did. It would be awesome to get a few flashbacks into Coop’s childhood, and Dern has the poise to capture the mother of our Special Agent. Since this is a Lynch joint, and “Twin Peaks” is all about duality, I also see the possibility of Cooper confronting a doppelganger of his mother at some point, which would be freaky as hell.
Balthazar Getty & Matthew Lillard: Getty appeared in Lynch’s “Lost Highway,” and Lillard has appeared in “Scream” and “SLC Punk.” I peg these two as FBI agents that are reopening the case around Cooper’s mysterious disappearance, which was closed promptly after the events of season two—the FBI has aggressively pursued the stance that Coop is dead in order to cover up any involvement with Project Blue Book, the classified operation that Major Briggs was involved with. Getty’s character would be a true Coop acolyte, maybe even to the point of learning about Windom Earle, Tibet and the lodges. Lillard’s character would function as the initiate to the weirdness of Twin Peaks, and he would be our vessel for rediscovering some of the show’s mythology.
Ernie Hudson: Hudson is best known as Winston from “Ghostbusters,” and I like the idea of him playing a bad guy in this revival. I see him as either a lawyer or a new business partner that is involved with Ben Horne. While Horne’s head injury at the end of season two left his fate ambiguous, Richard Beymer is on the cast list, so homeboy’s not dead. You might also remember that, before Doc Hayward KO’d him, Horne was turning over a new leaf and trying to make amends for his past wrongs. I see Hudson’s character as the embodiment of Horne’s temptation to go back to his philandering and corruption.
Ashley Judd: Judd has most recently appeared in the “Divergent” film series, and I think she’ll appear as Maddy Ferguson’s mother and Sarah Palmer’s sister. At first glance, we’ll see her come to Twin Peaks to pay her yearly respects to her daughter’s grave, but the clairvoyant powers that she shares with the Palmers will also hint at some unexpected reasons as to why she’s there.
David Koechner & Josh McDermitt: Fans of any comedy ever will recognize Koechner, who has appeared in “Anchorman” and “The Office,” and McDermitt plays Eugene on AMC’s “The Walking Dead.” While Koechner’s loud and crass brand of comedy makes him a dead ringer for a wiseass lumberjack that can often be found hanging out at the Double R, McDermitt has the comedic chops to play Koechner’s brother—watching these two play redneck lumberjacks would be the right amount of comic relief to sprinkle throughout what will likely be some dark territory.
Jennifer Jason Leigh: Her performance in Quentin Tarantino’s “The Hateful Eight” got her an Oscar nomination, so a nice meaty role would be perfect for Leigh. My guess is that she’s the new sheriff of Twin Peaks. She’s very hostile towards the FBI’s renewed interest in her town, since she views their involvement in the Palmer case as the biggest reason that the town lost so much of its innocence. Where Cooper and Truman embodied the buddy cop vibe, Leigh’s sheriff is more of an obstacle. The conflict would force the show into some new directions, and Leigh would absolutely kill a role like that.
Trent Reznor & Naomi Watts: I’m a huge nerd for wanting this to happen, but I see Nine Inch Nails frontman Reznor and “Birdman” actress Watts as inhabitants of the two lodges. I picture Reznor playing an agent from the Black Lodge, sent to reclaim and punish BOB for going rogue. His main conflict would be to follow orders while being tempted by the same addiction to pain and suffering that BOB has. Watts, on the other hand, would be a similar agent from the White Lodge, who periodically arrives to help our protagonist (see below) navigate her way through the dangers that lie ahead of her. Both Reznor and Watts have collaborated with Lynch before, and I think both of them would excellently personify the forces of good and evil that are at work in Twin Peaks.
Tim Roth: Since the events of the first two seasons left all of the Renault brothers dead, it would make sense that another powerful criminal would take control of their interests. Roth, who was also in “The Hateful Eight,” would be perfect for this character. He and Bellucci’s character would likely have a business relationship, allying themselves against Horne’s antiquated empire. This could also create an interesting wrinkle for Ben Horne, who may have to reunite with Jerry in order to fend off these more modern interlopers.
Eddie Vedder: Someone still has to be running the Bookhouse Boys, and I picture Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder as the guy for the job—mainly because Bookhouse Boy dress code is all about flannel and boots. Vedder is pretty good at playing himself in “Portlandia,” so it’s a bit of a shot in the dark—but I do like the idea of Vedder playing the one guy in town who’s willing to help the FBI.
Amanda Seyfried: Seyfried (“Ted 2”) will be appearing in multiple episodes, and that has me very intrigued. Now, if “Veronica Mars” taught me anything, it’s that Seyfried is a great victim, which could mean that she’s our Laura Palmer 2.0. Part of me doesn’t buy that, however. Here’s what I think: Seyfried is the secret lovechild of Annie Blackburn and Dale Cooper, and protagonist of the show. After Annie leaves the Black Lodge at the end of season 2, we would learn that she’s a catatonic wreck, but she’s also pregnant. She gives birth to a daughter, who is adopted by Annie’s sister, Norma Jennings. Jennings raises her, giving her a job at the Double R where she’s getting ready to run the place as the show begins. She has no idea who her father is, but she does get some awful nightmares…nightmares about a greasy-haired killer and a little man from another place.
The third season of “Twin Peaks” will premiere on Showtime sometime in 2017.