A mini even Marvel beginners can enjoy!

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Monitor Tapes comics and reviews for 1/5/2009.

BATMAN #684

Dennis O’Neil- Writer

Guillem March- Art

The second and final part of Denny O’Neil’s Nightwing story in a Gotham sans Batman. Nightwing escapes the previous issues cliffhanger (Detective Comics #851) with the assist of a Pizza Delivery Man’s (hmm, could be an new DCU hero, serving slices of justice) help and compares himself to Batman for half the issue. Nightwing makes mistakes and it’s a bit intragal to his character, whereas Batman “always” has a plan, Nightwing has the unfortunate handicap of being a character who’s not Batman or Robin, but a self made hero who makes mistakes and overcomes them, not unlike Marvel heroes OS. The issue (and story it’s self) is good, O’Neil is a great Bat-Writer even when he does something standard. The problem with the issue (though it works in the context of the story) is that of the Shadow of Batman, forever looming over his supporting cast.

Nightwing overcomes and beats the faux Two-Face and meets up with the “Face of Gotham” character, previously scared by the fake. The big to do in the story is that of the fact that everyone (including Gordon and the GCPD) is starting to get nervous without Batman, as pangs from criminals are getting bolder and just over the horizon is a fighting future where Gotham criminals wont be kept in check by Batman. Good story, great art by March, but unfortunately it’s not a Batman story and any stories told without him are going to feel a bit “fill in” till Bruce’s whereabouts are revealed.

FINAL CRISIS: SECRET FILES

Len Wein-Writer

Tony Shasteen-Art

One of the things about reintroducing an old character or even introducing a new character is the speculation of who’s under the hood (or mask). With the return of Libra, speculation ran from Barry Allen (Flash 2), Professor Eobard Thawne (Reverse Flash/ Professor Zoom), Glorious Godfrey, Desaad, and even Darksied.

As memory serves, Libra had no known origin to speak of, no known identity other than the mask, and disappeared as soon as he appeared. In his reintroduction in DCU #0 and role in Final Crisis, he was plucked from obscurity and revamped for the summer event as a kind of herald of Darksied/ catalyst to get the FC ball rolling. This lead to much speculation as the character previously had no ties to Kirby’s 4^th World and was last seen being absorbed into the cosmos that he tried to harness for his own insidious needs.

Secret Files actually goes back to the original concept of the Secret Files series. In recent years, SF was a kind of one-shot with stories and “Who’s Who” type pages, almost acting like an annual to the series or event series it would be tied to. In this case, there’s no real conventional “Who’s Who” pages and more story than supplemental material.

Len Wein got tapped to tell the origin of Libra in addition to tying him to Final Crisis, fitting since he co-created the character. True, noting earth shattering is to be found in the path Justin Ballantine walked from child surrounded by tragedy to that of supercriminal Libra. Good story, ties everything together, what more could you want!

In addition to Libra’s story, we also get another page from the Crime Bible illuminated by Greg Rucka, Steve Lieber and Eric S.Truman.

Grant Morrison types up a cosmic recap on the Anti Life Equation where it’s been and recaps Mister Miracles Seven Solders adventure.

Morrison and J.G. Jones fill the remaining pages with additional FC Sketchbook material, it’s amazing how the images and text give so much info on the characters when invited into the thought processes involving the DC character remixes presented.

Aquaman is presented in a classic look with the iconic costume he should be wearing, with some updates and tweeks to bring the character to a modern look without sacrificing his signature look.

Despite enjoying the recent Doctor Fate series (in by the Late Steve Gerber and friends (he unfortunately passed before completing his story), this is the version of Fate I want to see. Part Doc Savage, part Lovecraft monster hunter, part Indiana Jones, all badass! A rexmix on the character that takes the Doctor Fate version and Len Kaminski Fate character with a pulp hammer and smooshes ‘em together. This is the Fate I want to see in the JSA on New Earth, though being based on Earth 20 gives a much wider toy box for crazy adventures.

Ironically, as I mentioned I expected more “Who’s Who” stuff as that’s usually what comes with SO books. The story was a pleasant surprise, but I almost want more sketchbook with new crazy character remixes!

GREEN LANTERN #36

Geoff Johns- Writer

Ivan Ries- Art

Green Lanterns, Red Lanterns, Yellow Lanterns too, Violet Lanterns, Orange Lanterns and even Lanterns Blue!

Green Lantern continues to blow me away! The Red Lanterns now are in possession of Sinestro and are holding him as prisoner for crucifying Atrocious amongst other things, like using him as a claw sharpener for the other Red Lanterns.

New Blue Lantern Saint Bro’dee Walker, explains that Sinestro needs protection from the Guardians (and death as everyone wants him dead) as Sinestro is important to future events (The Blackest Night? Lantern War?). BL, who’s ring is powered by hope maxes out the charge on Hal’s ring while also curing the Red Lantern hate infection in GL John Stewart. Bro’dee whisks Hal off to Odym, homeworld of the Blue Lanterns and current residence of Ganthet, “banished” former Guardian.

Over on Zamaron, home of the Star Saphires (Lady Guardians and “Violet Lanterns), Fatality as a member of the Sinestro Corps is being “reeducated” and transformed into a Star Saphire. As she emerges, she names John upon her lips and commands her ring to locate him, “no time for love Mr. Stewart!”

Really, I’m doing you the reader a disservice even trying to describe Green Lantern issue to issue, it’s something you just have to pick up and read. Even trying to explain the concepts is no where as good as the jobs Geoff Johns and Ivan Ries (and other artists as well) do.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #22

Geoff Johns and Alex Ross- Writers

Alex Ross and Dale Eaglesham- Artists

The inevitable conclusion to One World Under Gog, true it ran a little long, but it was sad to see it end.

Kingdom Come Superman has become the original Superman, or Earth 2 Superman. He’s come to represent the old school superman who does what’s right and draws a line in the sand and lets no on cross. He’s also a mirror to which the DCU proper Superman is held to, a reflection of tragedy, loss, and inaction. Due to continuity constrictions, you knew when KC Superman came on stage he wouldn’t be around forever. DC and Alex Ross had no intention of changing the story of Kingdom Come or tarnishing it in any way.

Gog, previously attempting to bond with earth and taking away the gifts given to the heroes upon their refusal to worship him, gets hit by the JSA and hit hard. With earth at stake, the old timers and young folk attack Gog and forcibly remove his head in an attempt to sever his connection with the body he created from the planet. Superman (along with Starman, now crazy again) take Gog’s head, still mocking them and plant it into the Source Wall, along with the shells of the Old Gods of the 3^rd World to which he belongs. Gog wounds Superman with the knowlage that he failed to save his world sholdering Kal El with the weight of knowing he has to go home despite the hope he has amongst new friends found on New Earth (DCU proper). Starman helps this with the use of the Multiverse map he wears as a costume while Superman thanks the JSA and Starman for the help they’ve provided in the hard time he’s been through.

Superman returns to the point where he disappeared during Kingdom Come (during the great battle near the end) arriving to find the familiar landscape of corpses from the story. In a rage, Superman attacks the UN as in KC while Lance wonders why he’s still not only alive, but Magog as well.

Most important about the end of the story is the “Happy Ending” we see as related by Starman. Clark and Diana get together as he memorializes the lives of those lost in the great battle as Diana presents him with a gift to make him a little more “Human” (it has to do with seeing things in a certain perspective). Unlike the psudo-sequel “the Kingdom”, we see a future with hope, loss, rebuilding, and a very bright future 1000 years into the future with a familiar old man smiling at tomorrows heroes flying overhead. Much so in diametric contrast to the powder keg of super-brats from Kingdom Come.

The future’s going to be alright Mr. Kent.

Next week (or rather this Wednesday, as comic deliveries go back to normal schedule)

DC COMICS FOR 1/7/2009

BIRDS OF PREY: CLUB KIDS

BLACK LIGHTNING: YEAR ONE #1 (OF 6)

DC UNIVERSE ILLUSTRATED BY NEAL ADAMS VOL. 1

DETECTIVE COMICS #852

EL DIABLO #5 (OF 6)

FACES OF EVIL: GRUNDY

GREEN LANTERN: WANTED – HAL JORDAN

JUSTICE VOL. 3

SECRET SIX #5

SHOWCASE PRESENTS: STRANGE ADVENTURES VOL. 1

SUPERMAN/SUPERGIRL: MAELSTROM #5 (OF 5)

TALES OF THE BATMAN: TIM SALE

TERROR TITANS #4 (OF 6)

TRINITY #32

VIXEN: RETURN OF THE LION #4 (OF 5)

Next week a bit of catch-up as due to the late delivery this week I didn’t get to go over everything. Plus, upcoming essay and look at Superman’s past, present and future.

THANKS FOR READING!

I’m not a huge Punisher fan to begin with. And I’m not a huge fan of Secret Invasion’s outcome. That being said, pitting Frank Castle against the supervillain heavyweights of the Marvel Universe just seems asinine. Pitting him against The Sentry even more so. And that’s what happens a mere 5 pages into the book. It’s a 32-page cat and mouse story that flat out sucks.

I can suspend my disbelief enough to believe that there are mutants, people with spider powers and dudes who fly around in a mech suit, but it’s pretty hard to buy that Marvel’s most powerful superbeing, The Sentry, has trouble keeping up with The Punisher, and in fact, can’t catch him. Punisher escapes by having Sentry find a fake bomb, follow a remote controlled van and then smash into a wall painted like a tunnel, oh wait, that wrong comic…

This comic is like a bad Wiley Coyote/Road Runner loony tune. The Sentry is fast enough to catch a speeding skrull bullet with his thumb and index finger but can’t catch the Punisher, who, let’s not forget, is just an average Joe with a few screws loose. Writer Rick Remender tries to wax Frank Miller by diving into Frank Castle’s inner monologue, which strangely sounds a lot like Marv’s thoughts in Sin City. Nothing in this book stands out, art included; Jerome Opena’ style can’t decide if it’s Leinil Yu or Alex Maleev.

It’s sketchy, dulled and rings “blah.” Buy this book or don’t. But, if you do, be prepared for one craptacular ride.

New Avengers has consistently been a damn fine book, one that puts other superhero team titles to shame. Amidst the chaos that had been building up in the months prior and during Secret Invasion Brian Michael Bendis cranks the volume down and gives us a story that is extremely human. It’s not boring for a second and it reminds us all that even though this is a fictional universe, and our favorite characters have been battling aliens and saving the world, they’re three-dimensional. The plot seems like a bad Weekly World News headline, “Skrulls Stole My Baby!” but Brian Bendis pulls it off. It’s a blast to see the crème de la crème of Marvel superheroes banding together, kicking ass and taking names to find Luke Cage and Jessica Jones’ daughter. The art is mediocre compared to past artists on the book but it’s easily overlooked, the script is sharp, fast and doesn’t waste any time. It’s Gone Baby Gone, without all the boring stuff.

Kick-Ass #5
Writer: Mark Millar
Artist: John Romita, Jr.
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Street Date: Friday, 1/2/2009

I’m going to be honest here.  I’m getting a little sick of heaping praise on Mark Millar and John Romita, Jr.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m running out of things to say.  I was graced with the opportunity to get a sneak peek at Kick-Ass #5 and as soon as I started reading it, I instantly forgot and forgave the preposterously late shipping schedule on this book.  The problem with writing a review about another issue of this book is that the writing and art is every bit as good as the four issues that came before it.  The characters are just as interesting, the story is just as compelling.

But, this issue introduces Red Mist and it…  well…  it kicks ass.

I have to admit, I really like this character and am excited to see that he’s being played by McLovin.  But I don’t want to give away too much of the story.  Long story short, this issue really highlights the wheat from the chaff as far as heroes go and Kick-Ass shows why he’s not just some dumb pot head in a costume, but a bonafide hero.  He’s the sort of kid who’ll jump into a fire to save a baby without a second’s hesitation but he still can’t tell the girl of his dreams that he’s not gay.

No offense to Brian Michael Bendis (I think Ultimate Spider-man is one of the best (and most on-time) books out there) but I think Dave Lizewski is the new Peter Parker.  As many great things as Bendis is doing with Spider-man, he’s still restrained by the fact that Spider-man is an American icon and there are just some things you can’t do in an all ages book.  And although this book is bloody and gory and filled with all kinds of swearing and sexual innuendo, I really think this is the comic book teenagers want to be reading because it’s what they can relate to (or want to think they can relate to.)

And they don’t need to be bitten by a radioactive spider to be just like Kick-Ass.

I also have to reiterate that this comic book wants me to buy a wetsuit and some type of hand to hand weapon and start patrolling the streets.  And I hope it makes others want to do the same.  Seriously, I think at the end of the day, this book might help clean up the streets of the world.  And we’d have Mark Millar to thank for it.

Verdict: If you aren’t buying this book, you don’t deserve to read comics.  If you aren’t interested in reading it, cancel your hold immediately and turn in your geek badge, you’re done.

This book is simply really big and therefore really intimidating. I bought it about two years ago, and just got to it this month. It didn’t take as long as I would have thought to read, but I am still only a quarter of the way through the appendix, which has proved to be just as interesting as the book itself. The reason it has taken me over a week to get a quarter of the way through the appendix, is because it constantly unlocks an urge inside me to look up various serial killers on Wikipedia. I assume by this point most of you are waiting for some semblance of an actually review, and I would just like to assure you that it’s coming!!

Instantly I will get out of the way that I think this book was fantastic. The amount of research put into this narrative is truly miraculous. This is my favorite type of story, just taking an insane amount of facts, drawing conclusions from them, and then ignoring the fact that you can’t prove any of it. For example the movies Zodiac, and Auto Focus do this exact thing wonderfully. Alan Moore actually does this, but adds in some of his own twists that push this book a step beyond the average graphic novel. Without taking anything away from the Ripper killings, Alan Moore gives it a somehow sci-fi feel. I loved it!

The Artwork in this book fits perfectly for the story told. Also if you are some sort of masochist and enjoy gruesome bloody horrible murder, this book contains some of the sickest images that I have ever seen. Sometimes it literally made me sick. I say all of that as a good thing. Another thing that is so good about the art, is that every panel of city scape was researched more than the information of the murders. And the research in the story was simply unbeatable, reading the autopsy of Mary Kelly after reading the issue, makes me think it couldn’t have played out any other way.

So good it’ll make your blood blue! (due to almost constant gasping!) -Slugtron

If you would like to read a convincing hypothesis of who Jack the Ripper might have been, and what his motives were, just for that alone you should read this. But also because it’s a story well told, with twists that only Alan Moore could have thought up.

Dr.Cyborg awards this book 256 out of 255 stars. *that is not a typo! Way better than the movie. (If that wasn’t already obvious.)

The Monitor Tapes for Monday, December 29th 2008
Last moniter tapes of the year! Final Crisis Batman, Wonder Woman, and Batman Gotham after Midnight. Mini-Cassett overviews and looking to next year.
Comics for the week of 12/24/2008

BATMAN #683- “WHAT THE BUTLER SAW”

Grant Morrison/Lee Garbett

Spoiler heavy

In some ways, if this issue had a soundtrack it would be to “all tomorrow’s parties”. Tis not the end of Batman but it would be a fitting end to the “Caped Crusader” if the title suddenly ended after years of publication.

“Bruce Wayne in “The Man With the Weapon Brain!”

Another retrospective on Bruce Wayne (who is) Batman, the first page opening to the memory of Bruce and Talia’s (who is the daughter of Ra’s al Ghul), interesting that the scene mirrors that of the scene in the disputed continuity graphic novel Batman- Son of the Demon (By Mike Barr and Jerry Bingham), in contrast to the panel in prior issue #656, originally reinterpreting the same scene with Batman wearing the cowl and nothing else (additionally, the panel was from Morrison’s remembrance and not 100% accurate, later explaining the involvement of drugs clouding his memory*) Also note the retcon dialogue spoke by Talia, referring to the act of consummation resulting in the pregnancy (not revealed to Bruce in the original story), though can be interpreted as “pillow talk” lovers make during the act.

The second and third pages show another series of flashbacks from Batman in the 70’s including two of my personal favorites, the sword fight with Ra’s where he “dies” from a scorpion’s poison (Batman #244, “the Demon Lives Again”**), and the shark tank fight from Batman #251 (“the Joker’s Five Way Revenge”***), both Adams and O’Neil classics (both I’m fortunate to own copies of!). As the previous issue was a walk down memory lane beginning with Batman’s birth, crazy space aliens, and Robin’s into (lighting Batman’s world) and exit into Nightwing, this issue begins the more modern “Dark Knight” period of Bruce’s journey.

We see Bruce having flashes to a exciting adult power fantasy of the Batman (as I discussed in previous Monitor Tapes) as he’s a less than remarkable (than Batman) man following in his fathers footsteps as a quiet, single, doctor mussing over grizzly news he’s obviously unable to overcome considering his (illusionary) life. Morrison plays this as the flip side of Wayne, the “realistic, dark, and gritty” character he would be if he were in fact flesh and blood like the rest of us. He even wears glasses in a manor accustom to Clark Kent, the “weaker” (perceived) side of the Superman equation. For fans who cry out for a real interpretation of the character, this is it! No Bat-Costume, no Bat-Cave, no Batarangs, no sexy adventures against clown ghouls at midnight, no adopted wards to share the pain of tragedy, no rendezvous with Cat-Women in tight leather fetish gear. Just a man named Bruce Wayne, his Butler and Chauffer employee acting as counsel for a man powerless against a world of headline news horrors. True, the Cat-Women, Killer Clowns, angry Circus Children and darkness circle his world, but Bruce is merely a part in a play commenting on his world rather than actively perusing a starring role on the difficult stage of life.

Of course we’re all aware of the event’s unfolding in the “Real” world as Simyan and Mokkari with the aid of Lump infiltrating Batman’s mind in an attempt to create a Batman Army, though they begin to fear their actions may all be for not considering the reputation of the Batman. The life Bruce is experiencing is suppose to distract and overwrite while Darksied’s minions continue pirating the Batman persona as a “Weapons Grade” personality for the clone army awaiting its programming. Lump posing as Alfred continues to prod him along the path that keeps him sedate, walking a trail of safety apparently plotted out by his parents (specifically mother) who are referred to as alive despite having no presence. Bruce mocks this stating that “Sometimes, I wish they’d died that night” (you know!) or whishing it was himself as clearly a secret is revealed that is quite shocking now that it’s come to light. Bruce accepts his parents as acceptable losses in a war on crime….

Given the choice, Bruce would in fact not be able to save his parents because of Batman. Batman is bigger than all things and ultimately needed in a world of the Joker, Robin, Catwoman and even Darksied. Bruce is Batman, Batman is not a mask any more rather something else and the true fusion of Wayne and Bat become simple, elegant, and clear. If he could save his parents, he wouldn’t! He couldn’t! His parents are the unstoppable horror-headline that makes Bruce what he is, and what he is not. Had the devil not created Batman, Batman would have to create himself. The man is clearly haunted by the tragedy and always will have the whisper of ghosts upon his lips and ears. The tragedy it’s self is not a millstone chained to him reeking of guilt, pain, and inhuman crushing weight, it’s a part of the machinery that is Batman and a superpower source of strength, his atomic ray spider if you will.

The tragedy of the death of Thomas and Martha Wayne is not what birthed the Batman,
the senseless act of a criminal is, the devils deed if you will. Flashing back to the end of
RIP even if “Hurt” had in fact been Doctor Thomas Wayne, it would not matter for the first lesson was the one that started the path where Bruce chose to not only peruse an education on how monsters operate, but chose to expose himself to monsters to know no matter what this is the thing he must do and his mission will never end as he will not let it as long as monsters stalk the wild black void of men’s hearts and minds.

Back to the remaining story it’s self, Bruce discovers the body of the Batman of Zur En Arrh, reveals as a skeleton, almost acting as a switch trigger activating “Batman” memories due to his apparent persona death, Batman once again rises out of death. In the lab, Lump begins to show signs of attack (as Bruce is in his mind, not Lump in his) and stirs, then settles leaving Simyan and Mokkari to believe they remain in control. Unfortunately for them, Batman now has control and access to his memories, or really had all along using this moment to strike against his enemies. What seemed like a lighthearted moment in which Jason Todd (the “Second” Jason Todd BTW) the loveable angry young scamp steals the Batmobile’s wheels (tires) in Batman #408. Post CIOE Jason was the herald for the modern Batman on what became a bullet train of tragedy fired out of a 44 magnum. Jason was a punk kid with attitude and what would be a short life on a slippery slope of blood and mud. Flashbacks here walk through Bruce’s hope in a partner slowly rots and becomes a sick hole inside him, not unlike the one in Jason’s skull, personally trepanned by the Joker with his delicate and surgical crowbar. In a way, this is a bigger hurt and heavier tragedy as he truly shoulders the Burdon as his and his alone. The hits keep coming when the flash of Barbra Gordon falling under the sick schemes of the increasingly cruel Joker (Killing Joke), as Bruce sharpens his memories and pain like a shiv while his captors begin to gloat and drink the moment like Champaign.

The clones begin clawing their eyes out in horror experiencing the raw information and emotion pours into their empty shells. Flash to Tim Drake (Robin III) pulling Bruce back from the brink of no return while Bruce and the Lump posing as Alfred conversate as Batman reveals he knows something is amiss. Lump reveals he has the means to defend himself utilizing Bruce’s memories as weapons, specifically being broken by Bane and being replaced by a guy named Jean (both painful memories to me ). We skip ahead to the Gotham earthquake, Hush, the death of Tim’s father in rapid succession. ….

The moment everyone’s been waiting for, the reveal of Batman’s whereabouts since RIP, Bruce reveals he did in fact survive the encounter with “Hurt” and that the Black Glove despite their hubris and planning was in fact no match for the Batman. Filling in the blanks Batman swings back into action handling the Final Crisis bringing us up to speed with his current whereabouts. Batman uses the remains of Lump to attack his captors while setting up his escape from Darksied’s lackeys “Second Life” scenario and gearing up for the final confrontation.

Batman and Robin will never die… Especially when Batman is the god of winning, and an unstoppable human force of will on par with the mightiest of Green Lanterns. Only instead of a ring, he’s got his mind, body, and a utility belt in addition to a weapon brain!

*Also of note, Andy Kubert was the one who decided to have Batman in cowl only, as it was not in the script directions.

** Featuring the story continuation and “First” in comic resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul.

*** Featuring the ultimate iconic Adams Batman image, often referred to and used in merchandise, ect. (find image online) on page 21 of said issue.

WONDER WOMAN #27 (in part WONDER WOMAN #26)

Gail Simone/Aaron Lopresti and Matt Ryan

Picked up the recent issue and previous issue as I’d fallen behind somewhere and just decided to jump back in. After several false starts, back and forth secret ID’s, “Who am I” navel gazing, and a parade of creators attempting to fix a character not broken, Gail Simone puts Diana back together again just before breaking the hell out of her!

As it’s sometimes hard to read and recap single issues in the current “Trade” standard books are written for (mostly to tell more complex stores in multiple parts), I had to pick up the previous issue where we meet Genocide, the new Wonder Woman nemesis (as opposed to the Agent Nemesis/ AKA Tom Tresser, Male Amazon, Partner and Beau of Diana), the Doomsday to her Superman.

Skimming the previous issue shows Genocide not only beating Diana, but beating her badly and taking her Lasso of Truth. Frankly, had anyone done this story (IE “Male” writer) with Diana, they’d be the target of blood and teeth from the internet trolls as the female superhero icon was stuffed into the refrigerator.

Genocide seeks out her father, the madder than usual Doctor T. O. Morrow, he’s begun to comprehend the scope of the God-Gollum that he’s created. Not unlike the terrible God-Machine-Weapon heralds created in 52, the folly of super science runs rampant again in the horror that was created to stop Wonder Woman. Genocide no in possession of the Lasso has it bonded to her body making he more deadly now that the tool is used as a weapon connecting her to her foes by staring into their souls. Being able to see a person warts and all gives “Gen” a tactical advantage making her quire formidable and terrifying.

Meanwhile, the (Roman? Greek?) Gods return from Star Trekin’ round the universe, all sorts of messed up from Darksied’s attack on them during Countdown to Final Crisis. They track down the sleeper Amazons roaming the earth and call them away from their average “Dream” lives they’ve been functioning in. The Gods are none too happy they’ve been forgotten along with the defiling of their realm and of Paradise Island it’s self. The gods seem to have a plan and are gearing up for a new champion (hence the “Rise of the Olympian story title arc) and offer Wonder Woman’s Mother*** a chance to find peace in the offered final rest. Things are bad if not the worst for Wonder Woman and she’s got a fight ahead of her unlike she’s ever faced, in a stage filled with Gods and Monsters.

BATMAN: GOTHAM AFTER MIDNIGHT #8 (OF 12)
Steve Niles/Kelley Jones

It’s no wonder the Joker is such a cruel, terrible, horrible man! Batman swoops in on a locked down and straight-jacketed Clown Prince of Crime gagging him and stealing blood samples from his stomach, in a rough and rude manner.

The issue opens with the autopsy/ funeral of Detective Barry Lucas, GCPD cop and victim of the Midnight killer. The autopsy and prior events reveal the cause of death to be at the hands of Waylon Jones, AKA Killer Croc. Batman’s personal investigation reveals the latter suspect being not only the killer, but suspicion of Midnight in fact being a cop and a cover up hidden amongst the evidence.

Batman also has found himself enamored and in romantic interactions with Detective April Clarkson, who is ironically ditching a date with Playboy Bruce Wayne. Yes, Batman is cock-blocking Bruce and chicks dig the cowl. Catwoman being the hussy she is reveals her rage by killing a bird as she creepily stalks Batman.

Christmas Even rolls around as Midnight claims another victim, Santa apparently wont be coming this Christmas so don’t set the milk and cookies out. As a madcap chase ensues, Midnight claims the heart of Batman’s Beau with the assist of Catwoman’s distraction.

Unfortunatly I was pressed for time, but I’ll be “Catching up with Booster Gold!” in the near future with the last 5 issues.

Comics available on 12/31/2009 Future comics! Comics from the future!

BATMAN #684
BATMAN: CACOPHONY #2 (OF 3)
BLUE BEETLE #34
FINAL CRISIS: SECRET FILES
GREEN LANTERN #36
INFINITY INC. VOL. 2: THE BOGEYMAN
JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #28
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #22
THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #49
SUPERMAN #683
SUPERMAN AND BATMAN VS. VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES #6 (OF 6)
TEEN TITANS #66
TEEN TITANS SPOTLIGHT: RAVEN
TRINITY #31
THE WAR THAT TIME FORGOT #8 (OF 12)

Next Year! Catch up late with the DC best of 08’ highlights through the month of January 09’, with an eye on the future.

Dabbling in the other ponds of the DCU ocean in addition to seeing those still containing fresh water, and remembering the fishing holes that dried up. And why branding and selling is in fact important in comics.Green Lantern’s big year with the Blackest night creeping up on us like rigamortis.

And who wants to be the Batman, all in the next year (well, first year really) of the Monitor Tapes!

Thanks for reading!

Wolverine #70

Story by: Mark Millar

Art By: Steve McNiven/Dexter Vines

Publisher: Marvel Comics

Release Date: Friday, January 2nd 2009

Cover Price: $2.99

Seemingly overrated at times, more often than not overexposed - in the hands of Mark Millar and Steve McNiven, we are reminded that Wolverine may be the most perfectly constructed character ever to dawn a neon unitard.

In short, if you miss out on Old Man Logan, you ma’am or sir, are a God damned moron and you should stop reading comics forever. I’ve sang it praises in the past, citing it’s expert setups and pacing, it’s unique atmosphere and timeline, the jaw dropping artwork and any number of other strengths - but all of that aside - let us ask, why do we spend so much time, energy and money on comic books and related items in the first place?

It’s because for some unknown reason we all simply yearn to see dudes in neon spandex beat the Hell from one another, and Jesus Christ - Wolverine #70 scratches that itch until it bleeds. Emphasis on the bleeding part… actually, the scratching part as well.

For the last 4 issues, the major question hanging over the heads of the readers is: Why has Logan vowed never to pop the claws and never to harm another living soul?  Additionally, how and why would Mark Millar of all people neuter the most bad ass butcher in the entire Marvel Universe and would it make any sense?  Would we still love and respect Wolverine as we all do at the end of the day if he were a pacifist - and moreover, would we believe it?

All these questions and more are answered in Wolverine #70, with downright shocking horror and gore, matched with deeply heartfelt and pure emotion - A true tribute to the strength of the often marginalized medium of modern, mainstream comics. With 3 issues left in the arc, my expectations are through the roof, fully expecting multiple nerd-gazms in the coming months.

Stop bitching about late shipping and go out and pick these up. Worth the money, worth the wait and worth whatever shred of gratitude your tiny fanboy heart can muster.

(Editors Note: Expect to see a preview of this book by morning.)

If I had anything to do with The Spirit I would be embarrassed. Frank Miller has taken Will Eisner’s classic superhero, bent him over and raped him up the ass. The result of said violation left poor Denny Colt a amalgam of uninspired postmodern noir. The Spirit, in true Frank Miller style, is filled with forcibly “gritty” dialogue, hollow romance and boring action. Miller has had a knack lately for bastardizing other creator’s characters (just read the constantly late Batman and Robin All Stars); he has spun a tacky Sin City yarn with the likeness of Will Eisner’s heroes and femme fatales that lacks any emotion and semblance of humanity. Miller can’t decide if he wants the movie to be an episode of Loony Tunes or Pulp Fiction in a ridiculous brawl between The Spirit and The Octopus so bad, that it’s beyond the point of laughing at it’s sheer absurdity. Rather than honoring the source material Miller chooses to have The Spirit go toe to toe with his arch nemesis The Octopus, where in the comic they never fight, but the biggest difference is the overblown God plot the film poses. I don’t remember The Spirit being an invincible superhuman, just an ordinary cop who faked his own death. The film obviously shows that Miller is not yet ready to direct, favoring style over content; The Spirit’s classic blue suit and fedora, white shirt and red tie is switched to a black suit, red tie and pair of Converse All Stars (a la Dwight in Sin City). In a show of pure narcissism, The Spirit is filled with Miller references, when the title character mutters “looks like he gave himself the hard goodbye” in particular, showing that Miller isn’t looking to honor the late Will Eisner’s work, but pimp out his own. I found myself asking constantly, “what the fuck was he thinking?” and the answer is simple “he was thinking like Frank Miller.” That works when he’s creating his own world filled with delightfully tacky characters that romance crime, prostitution and excessive violence; unfortunately for us movie goers and comic book aficionados it just comes off as blunt, clumsy and plain out idiotic. Have another one Frank, lord knows you must have been drunk off your ass to make a move like this.

As most of you are aware, Ultimatum is happening. The results is the end of the Ultimate Fantastic Four. Two years ago I would have actually been sad about the demise of those books, but after reading Mike Carey’s work the past 26 issues I’m glad the series is finally going the way of the dinosaur. Somehow in the past 2 years Carey managed to take the intricate family dynamic of our favorite four adventurers and turn it into the stuff of crappy space pulp; Cosmic cubes, magical time travel, listless romance and wannabe Michael Turner art that would make the legendary artist spin in his grave.

We are all two issues into Carey’s most uninspired and moronic arc yet, Inner Space. The only thing needed to make this superhero adaption of that crappy flick prefect is to just pretend Ben Grimm is Dennis Quaid and Moleman is Martin Short. It’s not a stretch. Where Brian Bendis and Mark Millar took the concepts of the classic Fantastic Four mythos and modernized and twisted them into something fresh and innovative Carey simply dumbs them down while some how managing to convolute them to all hell. Good riddance to Ultimate Fantastic Four, next issue is to be the last, and I say bring it on, this book died the day Mike Carey took over as head writer.