‘Gold’ Review

GOLD (3 out of 10) Directed by Stephen Gaghan; Written by Patrick MassettJohn Zinman; Starring Matthew McConaugheyEdgar RamírezBryce Dallas HowardCorey StollToby Kebbell; Running time 121 minutes; Rated R for language throughout and some sexuality/nudity; In wide release January 27, 2017.

Normally when we get an expose on the excesses of modern capitalism, it’s a little more self-aware. Don’t be fooled– this isn’t another Wolf of Wall St or The Big Short. And in an era where we have those films, it’s hard to understand why Gold is necessary.

“Inspired by true events” (which means it has approximately as much truth as a Donald Trump speech) this is the story of Kenny Wells, (McConaughey) a minerals prospector who teams up with a controversial geologist (Ramirez) to search the Indonesian jungle to find the biggest gold strike of the 1980s. But, of course, things go badly, and the entire film is told in flashback as Wells tells the story of what happened to an FBI agent (Kebbell). Sound a little hackneyed? That’s because it is.

McConaughey’s over-the-top “I’m just a country boy with big dreams and gold fever trying to make good on my family’s legacy” is almost instantly grating. Even the best attempts by Bryce Dallas Howard as his long-suffering girlfriend can’t take the edge off, and neither can Corey Stoll as a Wal St investor trying to get in on the business.

And in a time where we understand the problems of global economic imperialism and the exploitative nature of resource extraction in developing countries, this film doesn’t develop anything but the faintest glimmer of a social conscience. Just because it’s set in the 80’s doesn’t mean you have to be complete corporate douchebags. And somehow, to go with the 80’s vibe, the female characters are completely undeveloped, only serve as accessories to the men and only float between being sex objects and doormats. Not acceptable.

But the worst thing about this is it is nearly a half hour too long– and it feels like it. There’s simply no excuse for boring. This? is boring. Very boring. And with little to redeem it other than open shirt McConaughey (who looks like he gained 30 lbs of pure beer belly and got the world’s worst 1980’s hair plugs for this role), this is fool’s gold, not the real deal. And yes, I’m aware of the adventure rom-com with McConaughey and Kate Hudson called Fool’s Gold. That might be better than this. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days certainly was. 

It’s just really unacceptable that mediocrity like this is tolerated. Even a bad movie, like last week’s xXx sequel, was at least wearing its dumb action shlock on its sleeve and had the guts to not try to pretend to be better than it is. This is just boring and predictable. When Xander Cage is preferable, you have a problem.

3 out of 10