Tee Time With Dr. Cyborg: A Christmas Carol Edition!

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Hello everyone, here we are again at the Tee with Doctor Cyborg. In which I take time out of my busy golf schedule to talk to you about whatever I feel like, while golfing at a slightly reduced pace, alongside my faithful caddy Slugtron! Today we will be doing some holiday golfing, and talking about Robert Zemeckis’ new film A Chrismas Carol. So pour yourself some Homemade Eggnog (12 eggs, 3 pints heavy cream, 1 cup sugar, nutmeg, 1 cup bourbon whiskey, 1 cup cognac, 1/2 tsp salt. Serve in a punch bowl) and lets go golfing!

The biggest question I had to ask myself when going to see a remake of this classic story was, why? And to be perfectly honest I don’t know if there’s a good answer. Beowulf, Zemeckis’ last film made sense to me, and I thought it turned out really good. (It did have Neil Gaiman attached to the script after all) Beowulf is a classic story, but popular culture has yet to be flooded with its presence, and therefore I thought it was a good choice.

The Christmas Carol story is admittedly amazing, but it has been told so many times, and told well most of the time. Including the book itself which is still highly accessible and readable. But that doesn’t make this movie a mistake outright. This is a cartoon, making it easy to take kids to, and it’s also a more classic interpretation of the story, which isn’t predominant most of the times I’ve seen it told. Therefore it does have some value, but on “Par” with Tim Burton’s recant of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

“Slugtron, the nine iron you idiot! I’m trying to kill a reindeer not an infant! “

eh, where was I? Oh yeah…The next question I was asking myself was, Jim Carey? followed by. Really? And I went in with a bad attitude because I didn’t get it. But honestly he wasn’t over playing the role, there were a few moments that I was annoyed with his face as The Ghost of Christmas Past, but he really wasn’t that much of a ham. He didn’t ruin the movie. The movie wasn’t even really that funny, I think it focused mostly on telling the story visually, and carefully. Which I think are some of Zemeckis’ best strengths. But not ruining a movie isn’t a good reason to cast someone. Jim Carey in multiple roles was definitely a mistake.

Because this movie was based in the 19th century, it lacked a certain…how should I say…robots! I find this highly disparaging. But it didn’t even try to make up for its lack of robots with its CG. I felt some of the scenery and shots were outstanding. I really thought the way they handled Marley (Gary Oldman) was awesome, but the scenes aiming to be 3-D roller coaster rides were out of place, and the character models really weren’t very good.

The models looked like they fell out of Girl Shrek’s vagina! –Slugtron

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I will give them credit for mood though. The scenes that were supposed to be scary visually built the right mood. (I know because the human child I took to see it, began to cry because he was so scared! How’s that for proof?)

One thing that surprised me was with the way they did the modeling, It felt like you were looking at the characters faces, but  I could barely tell who the cameo roles were, though some of them did stand out. Bob Hoskins, Mr. Eddy Valiant was definitely an exception to the rule. (Man O’ man is he a good actor.)

Overall I felt that the movie stuck to telling a good story, kept it targeted for an appropriate age group, and didn’t break the boundaries at all. This is good if you are going to the theatre and want to play it safe. It also makes your film instantly forgettable. It was a slightly new take, but it was slight.

It did some things exceptionally, for example, using the fact that they were making a cartoon to there advantage. Some of the stuff they pulled off couldn’t have been done as well with live action. But some things weren’t awesome, for example, I know it’s a Christmas movie, but they were way to forceful with Christmas music. Honestly the story of A Christmas Carol works wonders without Christmas at all. In fact I prefer it when it’s left out, as in Ingmar Bergman’s Wild Strawberries. It tells a very similar tale, just not at Christmas.

Damn the eighteenth green already, I guess I better wrap it up. Basically it wasn’t horrible, if you are ever going to see it, make it be at the movie theatre. It’s a solid 6 out of 10. Jim Carey isn’t evil, he’s just an idiot.